


What Kirk learns about love (and sex)

by KByrd



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Time, Multi, Pansexual Character, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:10:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KByrd/pseuds/KByrd
Summary: It’s canon that Kirk will sleep with just any person or alien. But he wasn’t born being so comfortable and confident. How’d he learn to cross that line?





	What Kirk learns about love (and sex)

The first time, Kirk goes ‘off planet’, he’s just a kid really – still in high school.

Terrans have all sorts of slang terms for fellow Earthlings who consort with aliens – going ‘off planet’ is maybe the tamest expression in the books. Iowans are especially suspicious of strangers. Hell, they’re suspicious of Americans from New York, never mind Earthlings from other countries and the presence of honest-to-goodness Aliens in their midst is downright terrifying. They have worse terms for people who … spend time with such creatures.

Not that Kirk cares.

He’s with a pair of disreputable guys who are definitely NOT COOL as evidenced by their habit of hanging out at high school even though they are several years past needing to attend (although whether they ever actually graduated is an open question).

Kirk knows that they’re not cool, but one of them has a car and the other knows of a bar where three spotty, baby-faced teenagers can drink. Thus, he figures he can afford to overlook his friends’ social shortcomings.

The bar is certainly nasty. It’s out in the middle of nowhere (you really do need a car to get there).

And the bartender hardly rolls his eyes at the trio; he merely serves them, takes their money and moves off with a smirk.

The bar used to be a barn, or maybe still is when not in use as a bar. There’s no need for sawdust on the floor since the floor is dirt anyways and redolent with animal scents.   
It’s dark; the music is loud.

Kirk doesn’t have much experience with hard liquor but he’s pretty sure the drinks are watered down in some way. He’s drunk but not to the degree he should be.

And the place is stuffed to the brim with Aliens, real, live, breathing (he thinks) ALIENS with odd coloured skin, antennae, tails, fur … They’re dancing and sometimes singing and generally having the kind of fun that good, honest Iowans disapprove of heartily.

A girl approaches and offers her hand, asking him to dance.

Her skin is green – not painted, not tattooed, but honest-to-goodness green and she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen.

He ditches the not-cool guys without a second look.

She has beautiful eyes and long lashes and a willowy sinuous body.

He dances, he kisses the girl, he trembles at the way she touches him, marvels that he can touch her … He’s not a virgin (perish the thought), but he usually has to work a lot harder to get this close. Instead, the girl is rubbing up against him, and encouraging him to slide his hand under her loose blouse.

She whispers dirty ideas into his ear.

Her accent is unbearably sexy.

She laughs at his terribly corny attempts at humour.

Many years later, Kirk thinks back and realizes that the girl was most probably an Orion and he was affected by her pheromones. Honestly though, he’s a teenager who’s so far had only modest success with human girls – he doesn’t really need the alcohol OR the pheromones to be seduced.

In Terran terms, he’s ‘easy’.

They drive away in her convertible and she takes him to a modest motel for the most mind blowing sex of his young life.

He learns her name, but nothing else about her.

Afterwards, he spends several days wandering around in a daze wondering if he could have contracted some kind of awful, permanently disfiguring disease from … consorting … with a non-human species. What kind of monster does that?

Then he finds a clinic (don’t ask how he finds it since it’s buried in the back of an alley) that specializes in treating humans who have gone ‘off planet’ so to speak with aliens.  
He reads the pamphlet they hand out and submits to a contraceptive shot since the words ‘interspecies procreation’ fill him with terror.

Starfleet has a base in Iowa. Kirk is never clear why – maybe it’s the miles of flat land? (Years later when he’s trying to land a spaceship in a valley between steep, pointy mountains, he appreciates the wide open spaces of his home state even more).

Thanks to Starfleet, there are aliens in Iowa. They mostly keep a low profile. They mostly stick to the cities and to specific bars that cater to their kinds. But Kirk is clever and creative, especially when on a mission and he soon starts frequenting these places. An additional advantage to these underground gathering places is that the bartenders seem less worried about pesky licensing rules and disinclined to deny service to teenage Kirk despite his peach fuzz.

Oh the lessons he learns.

He starts off flirting mostly with humanoid aliens, but as time goes on, he gets more and more comfortable with the astonishing diversity of the alien population.

First lesson is that communication is actually critical. And yes, YES, Kirk has been told this before. Many, many times, but somehow the lesson had never stuck. However, when you’re navigating different bodies, figuring how people with different arousal systems can work together, what feels good, what needs to be avoided … well, you just really have to talk.

As he grows older, and his spots clear up, he starts to be more successful in his wooing of human girls, and he also figures out that communication can actually be sexy. Yes, their anatomy is familiar, but every girl is different and he quickly figures out that asking and checking and confirming and just murmuring ‘does this feel good’ improves the experience immensely.

He’s quickly on his way to becoming VERY popular.

The second lesson is that sex can vary enormously. Well obviously, if you’re going to step out with aliens who have different body parts, you have to figure out how to please each other. And who knew how great sex can be when it’s more than just put part A into part B …?

And that enhances sex with humans too.

He’s well on his way to being VERY, very popular.

And then there’s the question of gender. It all seemed very simple before. People in Iowa have a basic understanding – there are two sexes (what the hell is gender?) and most people are generally attracted to the opposite. Very simple. That’s just the way humans work. Except …

First of all, aliens don’t necessarily have ‘gender’ the way Kirk had always thought of it. The first time he goes home with a male-identified partner and has really great sex, he brushes it off as part of the experience of sleeping with aliens. Some species don’t divide into neat categories of male and female. That’s kind of mind blowing, but once you accept that idea, well, anything goes. That’s the third lesson.

“It’s not just aliens,” his friends tell him. “Lots of humans are gender diverse too.”

That’s true. Kirk is not the only human dancing and flirting at these underground bars. There are people with crazy tattoos and body modifications and sexually ambiguous clothing … With his clean cut farm boy looks, Kirk attracts a fair bit of attention.

Lots of people are curious about what he’s doing there.

Kirk goes home with a lovely sexy human who presents as female in the dance club, but reveals very familiar male ‘equipment’ once they’re both naked.

“You don’t mind?” she asks Kirk carefully.

“I like new experiences,” he assures her.

The sex is amazing and afterwards, Kirk does some soul searching.

He reads the pamphlet from the sex clinic that offers a glossary of terms around identity and attraction, but it still doesn’t answer his question. Is he gay, bi? Does he need to come out of a closet he didn’t even know he was in?

It occurs to Kirk that people in Iowa are hardly more accepting of LGBTQ people than of aliens so he’s well on his way to being a pariah no matter what.

Then it occurs to him that his stepfather is going to be more unhappy that Kirk is gay (or bi or pan or whatever) than that he’s sleeping with furry-eared girls with tails.

Ha!

There’s not much that Kirk likes better than pissing off Frank.

His friends, both alien and human, discuss the finer points of gender politics. A few try to argue that the only natural thing is two opposite sexes – that’s how animals are, right? It’s not like cattle have existential concerns about whether they are really ‘cows’ or ‘bulls’.

“That’s bullshit,” snaps one of the college students. “First, we’re not animals; second, how the hell would you know if a bull is really attracted to other bulls, but feels pressure to perform within the confines of hetero herd dynamics?”

That cracks everyone up.

“Besides,” a different student pipes up. “There are loads of cases of same-sex animal pairings in zoos and even in the wild.”

“And dolphins have been observed having really wild orgies,” someone else adds.

“Dolphins?” Kirk queries.

“Apparently they’re total sluts,” the boy insists, nodding earnestly.

Among this crowd of friends, the general consensus is that people can sleep with anyone they want, BUT (and this is non-negotiable), they’re in agreement that sex has to be consensual. And that it’s totally wrong to trick someone or treat an ex badly.

“No revenge porn,” the girls are adamant.  
“No claiming that you’ve been dosed with sex pollen …”  
“Too drunk, too stoned … not a substitute for consent …”  
“Dick pics,” one of the girls rolls her eyes. “Just NO …”

Kirk is a clever boy and he’s always enjoyed learning new things. Maybe one day he could write a book.


End file.
